My Caccoon has a malfunction!



When I first met Brian I was free... I said what I thought and I did whatever felt good at the moment... i.e. going hiking, playing frisbee, saying mean stuff... which was more funny than mean. What I've noticed in the past few months is that I've gone into a cacoon. I just can't figure out why.
Usually the more you know someone the more open you become. This makes no sence to me!
I wish I knew why I was open at one time and now I'm not. I think maybe it's because I love him... and I'm worried that saying what I think and doing what I feel will drive him away. I feel as if I'm caught between who I want to be and who I am. I'm honestly afraid that if he ever sees the real me he won't like me.
Is everyone else this afraid? Or is it just me?